How to Support Someone With Depression - 10 Dos and Don’ts
If you have a friend or loved one with depression, you may be wondering how you can support them. Sometimes, it can be hard to know what to say to someone who is depressed. You might feel worried that you’ll make things worse or say the “wrong” thing. In reality, there is a lot you can do to help a person who is experiencing depression.
If someone in your life is depressed, here are some things you can do to help and some things to avoid.
Do: Listen empathetically
A lot of the time, what someone with depression needs more than anything is for someone to listen and be there for them. Try to listen empathetically to your friend or loved one. Let them know that you care about them and are there to support them.
Don’t: Tell them to snap out of it
You might feel the urge to make light of their feelings, but this is something you should definitely avoid. It’s not possible for someone to “snap out of it” when they’re depressed. Saying something like this communicates judgment, which is the last thing someone needs when they’re experiencing depression.
Do: Reach out to them
One of the most challenging aspects of depression is that it can prevent someone from reaching out for help and support when they need it most. Be the one to initiate contact and reach out to them regularly. Even a simple check-in over text can be very meaningful for someone who’s struggling.
Don’t: Assume they’ll ask for help if they need it
Don’t assume that if someone needs help, they’ll reach out to you. It can be really difficult for someone with depression to initiate contact with their friends and loved ones when they need help or support. Don’t assume that “no news is good news” - be proactive about reaching out to them first.
Do: Set boundaries for yourself
Just because you’re supporting someone with depression, that doesn’t mean that your emotional needs aren’t also a priority. It’s okay for you to set boundaries for yourself and consider what your own needs are.
Don’t: Think you can fix it for them
It’s just not possible for you to fix someone’s depression for them. While you can be a source of support, you won’t be able to make their depression go away.
Don’t: Shut them down
It can be incredibly scary and stressful to have a loved one who is deeply depressed. They might say things that scare you, like mentioning considering suicide. Don’t shut them down or say things like “don’t talk like that.” Listen actively and without judgment, while letting them know that you support them and can connect them to resources.
Do: Ask if they’re considering suicide
Sometimes people are worried to mention or discuss suicide because they think it can put suicidal ideas into a person’s mind. Research shows that this couldn’t be farther from the truth. If someone is already considering suicide, you may be able to help them by directly asking about it and connecting with them.
Do: Call 911 if they’re in immediate danger
If you believe that your loved one is an immediate danger to themselves or others, don’t hesitate to call 911. If the threat of danger is less immediate, you or your loved one can call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255.
Do: Encourage them to get help
When someone is depressed, they can feel like all hope is lost and that there’s nothing they can do to feel better. But there is hope! Encourage your loved one to get professional help by reaching out to their medical provider or qualified mental health practitioner.
